Monday, December 12, 2011

Improving Relationships – Zip It Up!

One of the hardest things for many of us is to keep quiet; even though we might think we could do the job of raising our grandchildren better than our children. Perhaps it’s true, but probably not. In any case the grandparent must zip it up. No child really wants advice even if it’s good and even if they have asked for an opinion. What they really want is validation that they are doing a good job.

The grandchild is not yours to raise. You’ve done that job, for better or worse, with your own kids. You certainly have rules for your grandchild when they’re visiting your home, but it is best to share these rules with your children. That way, there can be no unpleasant surprises. Your children will not be thrilled to learn “Grandma always lets me do everything I want at her house. There I can watch television the whole time!” If you discuss your rules with your children, you can usually reach an agreeable compromise.

We all think we are “right” but keep it to yourself if you can. What you don’t say often has more impact. Less is definitely more. Your kids will appreciate your silence because you are showing respect for their parenting styles. It is far more important to keep a positive and peaceful relationship with them than having the satisfaction of just being "right"!

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