Minding Your P's & Q's

Too many people are complaining that manners are a thing of the past. If you are one of them, we urge you to check out Sara Gorfinkle's wonderful site at www.saramanners.com and give thought to some of her classes or private lessons. She teaches workshops for children, which focus on dining etiquette basics. They are the only ones we know of and they're fun too!

Happy Holidays

Most of us have wonderful memories of holidays. When we see all the tempting clothing and toys beautifully displayed, our instinct as grandparents is to buy our grandchildren everything. We want the best and the most. But, what gives the children the most pleasure?

With the younger children, tearing off the wrapping paper that you have taken so much time and effort with, is often more important than what is in the package. The smallest items (a roll of colored tape, a stamp pad, crayons, stickers) are things they will not only enjoy for the moment but will revisit and play with over and over again. 

Here are some things that will be fun to do with your young grandchildren during the cold days ahead: Save the boxes, which make great toys. The children will find new ways to use them which would never occur to any of us. Taking toys from the child's room, together you can wrap them with newspaper and tape and pretend to have a party and open them up.

For an older child between the ages 7 through 11, talk it over with them first and then plan a day together to shop and find that special item. Children will appreciate not only the item but the fact that you took the time to be there. Finish the day off with hot chocolate. By doing this you are establishing both a ritual and tradition which your child will look forward to year after year.

Teenagers are tricky. They may often enjoy a gift certificate or money because they have their own ideas and like the feeling of independence that comes from making their own choices.

We wish you a joyous holiday and a wonderful new year!


WORKSHOPS STARTING IN THE NEW YEAR for:

• Grandparents
• Parents of Young Children
• Parents of Teens

Please follow our blog for further information or contact us at educatedgrandparent@gmail.com

Improving Relationships – Zip It Up!

One of the hardest things for many of us is to keep quiet; even though we might think we could do the job of raising our grandchildren better than our children. Perhaps it’s true, but probably not. In any case the grandparent must zip it up. No child really wants advice even if it’s good and even if they have asked for an opinion. What they really want is validation that they are doing a good job.

The grandchild is not yours to raise. You’ve done that job, for better or worse, with your own kids. You certainly have rules for your grandchild when they’re visiting your home, but it is best to share these rules with your children. That way, there can be no unpleasant surprises. Your children will not be thrilled to learn “Grandma always lets me do everything I want at her house. There I can watch television the whole time!” If you discuss your rules with your children, you can usually reach an agreeable compromise.

We all think we are “right” but keep it to yourself if you can. What you don’t say often has more impact. Less is definitely more. Your kids will appreciate your silence because you are showing respect for their parenting styles. It is far more important to keep a positive and peaceful relationship with them than having the satisfaction of just being "right"!

On A Lighter Note...

Here's something we received from a grandmother in New York City. We thought this was funny and hope you enjoy it...

GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE


Good morning ...


At present we are not at home but please leave your message after you hear the beep.


(beeeeeppp)


If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is


If you need us to stay with the children, press 2


If you want to borrow the car, press 3


If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4


If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5


If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6


If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7


If you want to come to eat here, press 8


If you need money, press 9


If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us out to the theater - start talking, we are listening!!!!!!!!!!!