Monday, November 28, 2011

Time Is Of The Essence

Many of us are not fortunate enough to spend as much time as we might like with our grandchildren. There are different reasons: living far away or simply parents’ reluctance to share and give up control of their child.

Parents may fear that when children are with the grandparent, they will "spoil" them with too much candy, too many toys, letting them watch unlimited TV and actually letting them do whatever they want. To a grandparent, the ability to spoil their grandchildren may be synonymous with love.

But actually, giving time and a hug is very special.
Telling your grandchild that you love him or her goes a long way, too.
Children will not remember us for the things we buy them, it is much more important to show them we like them and enjoy spending time with them.

Songwriter Johnny Mercer wrote...
"You've got to accentuate the positive,
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative 
Don't mess with Mr. In Between."

Remember to have fun, no matter how small a window of time. If it is an hour, enjoy it. Talk to your grandchildren, play games, and get to know what they like and who they are. If they come to your house, having a favorite toy or activity that they know is theirs, and a special place where you keep their treasures will be the first place they run to.

It is never too late to establish a loving relationship with a grandchild. A grandparent we know, even though she lived in close proximity to her grandchild, felt she was not spending enough time with him. When the child turned 14, she spoke to him directly and said, "I don't know who you are and I would like to, so I suggest we have dinner together once a month." The first dinner was a success, and the ritual continued until he went to college, at the final dinner, the young man pulled out his credit card and said, “This one is on me, Grandma." At Thanksgiving dinner the grandson reminded the grandmother that he will be home for winter break, "so save a date for us to have dinner together.”

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